Cat Speak
by Rose Fortress
Summary: One carelessly spoken pick-up line from Japan to Greece results in an exchange of cat-related lines between the two of them that are cheesier than pick-up lines have any right to be...but is that really such a bad thing? Greece/Japan aka Giripan.


Originally written for the Hetalia kink meme prompt "Any/Any - lame pick-up lines," with some minor editing done in this version.

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"If you were a cat, I'd make you purr every day."

Greece turned to face Japan, as did the two cats lounging in his lap, all three with quizzical expressions on their faces. Had Japan really said _that _thought out loud? Crap.

"I - I mean, you've said that you'd like to be reborn as a cat, right?" Japan said quickly, diverting his eyes to the other cats that seemed to be sizing him up as if wondering if these words had really just come out of the mouth of an apparently serious and dignified old nation. "I meant to say that if that happened and I found you, I'd make sure to take care of you." As soon as that explanation left his lips, he cringed inwardly. _Congratulations, Japan-san. You've successfully come up with a pick-up line that would make even America-san laugh. You may now collect your award, a newly sharpened katana, at the deepest, darkest corner of your house and remain there._

Greece, however, did not laugh and this was what stopped Japan from excusing himself to commit seppuku. Because, well, if America could somehow woo England with pick-up lines like these with only a minor increase in snark, then perhaps there was a chance that his cat-related line would garner only a mildly negative reaction from Greece.

"I see," Greece said thoughtfully with a tilt of his head, as if the subject he was contemplating was the purpose of life and not a lame pick-up line. "If I were a cat, I'd give you eight of my lives freely."

Japan blinked owlishly at Greece who only looked back at him, largely at ease as if responding to a cheesy line with an equally cheesy line was the most natural thing in the world and the only thing he was concerned about was Japan's reply.

"If...if I were a cat too," Japan replied, hesitating but feeling the need to assert this, "I'd give you these eight lives back because I wouldn't want to outlive you."

Greece scratched one of his cats behind her ears and took hold of her right paw. "If I were a cat, I'd beckon to you with a raised paw," he said, lifting up and curling the cat's paw in an imitation of the Beckoning Cat.

Japan felt a smile touch his lips at the gesture. "If you were a cat, I wouldn't hesitate for a second to paint you with Buddha."

Greece nodded to show that he understood the reference. "If I were a cat, I would be the feline version of Hachiko for you."

"If we were cats, I wouldn't mind getting tangled up in red string with you," Japan said boldly.

Greece smiled and leaned in a bit closer, not too much to make Japan instinctively back away but enough to underline the subtle change in the tone of his voice as he responded, "If you were a cat, I'd let you sit in my lap and stroke your back any time you wanted."

Japan felt the back of his ears redden, but something about the way Greece made his pick-up lines oddly endearing in spite of their corniness (and suggestiveness) had instilled in him a determination to try to accomplish the same with his own. "If I were a cat, I'd rub up against you to mark you as my territory," he replied as steadily and matter-of-factly as he could.

"If neither of us was a cat, I'd still do these things with you," Greece murmured, and really, how _did _he make cliché lines like these work? Japan wasn't sure if he could come up with an appropriate reply to that one or how long he could keep this up without his lingering embarrassment (and embarrassing giddiness at Greece's response to his accidental statement) getting the better of him, and he must have been unconsciously leaning forward during all this because Greece's face was suddenly a lot closer to his own than it had been a minute before...

By the time they finished kissing, the two cats on Greece's lap had scrambled off to find new places to rest, and Japan decided that resting his head on Greece's chest wasn't all that embarrassing compared to some other things.

"Maybe I wouldn't like to be reborn as a cat after all," Greece mused, carding his fingers through Japan's hair in a manner similar to how he scratched his cats behind their ears, "I'd miss talking with you like this in humanesque form."

The back of Japan's ears turned red again and he couldn't help mumbling, "I don't really think a subject like this is comparable to philosophy."

"It was related to cats, so it's almost on the same level as philosophy for me. Besides, your lines were better than you thought they were; you used phrases more creative than ones like 'purrfect' or 'the cat's meow'."

Japan privately thought that Greece was only trying to make him feel better, but he wasn't in the mood to start up a long discussion when his head was reclining on Greece's chest that was very comfortable in spite of its hardness. He also didn't feel _that _terribly bad, all things considered.

Perhaps America did have a point about romance casting normally silly or stupid things in a different light.

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Notes:

The line about Buddha refers to the Japanese folktale narrated in the book "The Cat Who Went to Heaven." Hachiko and the Beckoning Cat are both Japanese cultural icons that Greece has clearly learned about in his experiences with Japan.

Reviews and constructive criticism would be greatly appreciated!


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